The non-hip hippies. What is it all about?

Happy Easter! (to those of you who celebrate it now)

I have just completed a killer project of 56 articles about CNC (Computer Numerical Control) machines that lasted for two weeks and even though I am exhausted, I am also thrilled that I can now update you on the ideas that have been boiling the last few days.

As you might have noticed, my (now ex-) website, "Alexia's Writings and Designs" is down. But there is a new website, called "The non-hip hippies". So what happened? Let's take it from the start... In October 2012 that I decided to stop looking for a job as an architect and start working as a freelance writer instead, I had no clue about how much writers charge for articles, blog posts, ghost-writing and the like. So I just made low-ball offers on E-lance and got jobs.

My clients were thrilled with me, even though I am not a native speaker and all of them were. That was great, because it helped me build my confidence. But after two months I realized that the reason they were thrilled was because they got good quality writing for peanuts. I was not disappointed at all, because I felt I was still in training and indeed some clients gave me the chance to do writing jobs I had zero experience doing. Essentially they trained me for free in writing search engine optimized posts and fitting irrational keywords in articles in a way that it would look natural. It was a start.

But after a few months of working like crazy and getting about the 1/3 of what my partner gets as a PhD student, I decided I should ask around and see what others charge for their writing services. So I joined the "Freelance Writer's Den". I was too busy to read all the resources about "how to make good money writing" but I had enough time to give them my website address and ask for an evaluation.

The harsh feedback

And then the evaluation came... Even though it hurt to read, I will write it all down here, so as to save other people who want to make a proper writer's website:

-I used an Oscar Wilde quote in one of my pages, to explain my transition from architecture to writing. The so called "The Den Mother" wrote to me that if a writer needs a quote of a writer to tell their story, no one will trust the creativity of said writer.

-The Den Mother was supper confused by the fact that I had a shop that combined postcards and writing services and was so hard to navigate within it.

-The Den Mother said my resume was super lengthy and pretty mush useless because it showed that I have studied something totally irrelevant to writing.

-She also said that all my client feedback was useless because I did not link back to the clients websites or mail addresses and they were mentioned with their E-lance usernames aka useless stuff.

-Then she went on to say that my "policies" page was to long and intimidating.

-She did not stop there and commented on my Louis Carol, Alice in Wonderland pic, saying that it is stupid for a designer to use other peoples images.

-As if that was not clear yet, she went on to say that my website was absolutely confusing, she had no idea what I was trying to sell, where were my sample writings and was I a real person?? (that last comment was because I did not have enough photos of myself, as she noted).

-And because I was not devastated enough, she also said that the blog page on the website was hard to read.

Sooooo... My first impulse was to unsubscribe from her website and bury my head in the sand. Five deep breaths later I realized that I have asked her for the feedback and she did an amazing job. Also the feedback was supposed to help me and it was not a personal attach.

Two deep breaths later I was able to share my disappointment with my partner, who had a great idea.

The great idea

He told me that it is meaningless to try and promote myself as a writer, as there are thousands of them. It is also meaningless to promote myself as an architect because there are also thousands of them and most of these thousands are also unemployed. He said that I should present the qualities that are unique about me.

We thought about it for a while and concluded that what I have that most other people do not have is a love for writing, and architectural background that included strong design training, and an architectural research project focused on the production of food in urban environments. I am also a vegan (trying my best) and in love with old-school sustainable living. This is who I am. A vegan geek with a deep love for all things natural plus a love for research.

So, after discussing more with my ever-so-patient partner, we concluded that my website should not be about trying to sell my self as a content writer or a designer. It should be a documentation of the research that I do in my everyday life, because that is what fulfills me. It should be full of articles about cob houses
            and herbal tinctures
   and river stones
             and plant-based recipes
                             and how to grow your own food
              and how to make your own wine
                                     and how to make fuel out of rotten produce
                                                     and mythology
                                          and environmental friendly cleaning products
                               and reviews on my favorite books
                                                             and....

And now what?

Until the site is up and running, I will start writing articles and uploading them on scribd. Once the site is ready, there will be links of the articles on the website. In the meantime, I will be posting the scribd links on facebook and I will make sure that the articles are printer-friendly versions.

During the following two weeks we (partner and I, that is) are also going to upload a youtube video or two, explaining what the site will be all about, who we are and what drives is.

I am very excited and cannot wait to see how this goes.

Wish me luck and stay tuned!

Irony

Yesterday night and until early in the morning today I have been writing articles on a very technical topic. I had this great plan that I would divide them among the days of the previous week and I would only have to write 5 on Sunday. Well, I ended up having to write 16. Who would have thought? So I pulled an all nighter and managed to deliver on time, even though I think I was half-dreaming, half-hallucinating during the last two.

I went to bed at 7 o'clock this morning and had to wake up at 13:00 to prepare for the third lesson with the Greek kids. I felt like a brain-dead potato and was about to post this on facebook, because it described quite accurately the way I felt. I felt tired and miserable and as if someone had beaten me up. And I can clearly remember that five years ago it was not an issue at all to sleep 3 hours a night for weeks in a row.

And as I was prepared to hit the "post" button, I got a message from my best friend, telling me that someone we knew had just died on the road. A person at the age of our parents, maybe a bit younger, slightly too old to rock and roll and certainly to young to die. I was numb and didn't know what to think or say. The link of the song was still there on my facebook wall, waiting to be posted. Immediately I realized the vast difference between being dead-tired and just plain dead and the irony of wanting to post this specific song just because I was tired and sleepy. I felt stupid.

***

I have more news and thoughts to write about and share with you, but right now I am just not it the mood, so excuse me.

Teaching children, learning to charge and some random cool things about the 10th of June

 Teaching Greek to children

This week I gave my first Greek lesson to two Dutch-Greek kids. He is 5 to 6 and she is 7, turning 8 soon. They are two smart, adorable kids, with the girl being on the artistic side. She reminds me of myself a bit, as it is clear that telling her a good word or two about her writing and letting her draw keeps her happy and motivated. The little boy is more of a challenge and strangely enough, he does remind me of my brother. My poor brother was starting all new languages when I did, even though he was 2 years younger. And let me tell you, he managed to make a teacher quit!

In a way I feel sorry for the kids today, that their parents overload their schedule so much. But at least those two are lucky because their parents did not want to send them to the Greek school on Saturday, so that they still have the whole weekend to play. I am also trying to teach them through play, but let's face it, you can not trick a kid for long... The boy did not even want to join when we started with the girl but a few animal pictures later and me being over-enthusiastic with what the girl wrote -tah dah!- there he was! His attention span was a bit more than 40 minutes. The girl made it the whole hour, but I could tell that at the end she was really tired.

I believe they did not hate me, because the girl wrote my name in the end of the lesson and as she does not know the letters, it took some effort. And the boy asked if I would stay over so we could play UNO. I have promised to include poems and singing in the next course, next Monday, and see how it goes.


News from my work

 I have realized that I have charged waaaaay too little for my first scientific ghost - writing in the most ridiculous way. I have been working on this project that took much more than expected, because we keep adding paragraphs and ideas and the feedback comes somewhat late, because the clients are busy and also kind of famous (so, busier).

But I gathered my courage and I asked for more money, as the project took longer than expected. I apologized for not expecting it to take that long and I kept my fingers crossed that they would not find the amount too high. Well, guess what. They sent me a mail saying "we actually find it more fair for you to get payed 50% more than what you suggested". Yes. They are THAT nice. And yes, I am that inexperienced and this is why I made a low offer at the first place; because I did not consider my self experienced enough in this field. Well, now I know...

So hopefully this project will be finished this weekend or by the mid of next week. And I would have to start looking for another big project to work on, along with my articles. But now I don't!

There is this great woman living in the US that I collaborate with, and she has been giving me 5 to 10 articles to write per week. She is also a small-scale entrepreneur, so the pay is not great, but she pays immediately and mailing with her is fun. She has also understood when I kindly refused to write articles about hunting, as I am a vegan. And she also respects my other project deadlines.

So today this great gal asked me if I would take up a 56-articles-in-two-weeks challenge. I did and I hope I won't regret it.  I have realized that until I figure out what is a reasonable amount to charge for ghost-writing, it is better to stick to articles, because they pay directly and they end up being more well-paying than books.


News from the wedding planning process

We have reserved the 10th of June as our wedding day.
And all our guests agreed to stay at these great wooden  houses at Delftse Hout.

There has been quite a few paperwork disasters in-between and in order to help others out there I want to share with you the fact that "birth certificate" in English can mean different things for the Dutch and the Greek. Enough said.

Cool things that took place throughout the centuries on June 10th:

In 1962, Briget Bishop got hanged and was the first person that was executed for witchcraft during the Salem witch trials. Having a deep love for all things pagan myself, this drew a wide smile on my face. Briget has been married three times, owned a few taverns, dressed provocatively and was outspoken. Quite a lady, I have to say!

In 1819 Gustave Courbet, French painter, was born. Check out his painting "the origin of the world" (l' origine du monde).

In 1880 André Derain, co-founder of fauvism with Henri Matisse, was born. Click here to immerse your soul in color.

In 323 BC Alexander the Great died. You can go read this and understand why I am not so sad he did not live much longer.

In 1926 Antoni Gaudi died. I love this guy. Click here for a few reasons to visit Barcelona. Some of the most famous of Gaudi's buildings are there. Legend has it that he was walking backwards to be able to see the whole of Sagrada familia, when a tram hit him. Poor Antoni was thought to be a beggar, as he had no ID on him and he was not exactly a huge fan of laundry. So he did not receive immediate medical care. Cruel world we live in.

In 1929, Hélène Smith dies. Too bad, 'cause she was a wonderful French psychic that claimed to communicate with the Martians and that she was a reincarnation of Marie Antoinette and a Hindu princess. Surrealists really liked this gal, because she was all about automatic writing and she was regarded by them as a symbol of surrealist knowledge.

In this episode: Procrastination, biking, Delftse Hout and plans

Procrastination

One of the greater challenges that I have to face as a self employed freelance writer is the fact that I am my own boss. Which means that if I procrastinate on facebook, I am the one who has to scold me. And I am doing it, but it feels quite schizophrenic. It goes a bit like this:

me-boss: You should be researching about the best healing herbs for this article.
me-me: But look at this status update of my high school classmate! She had twins! I wonder how her husband looks... Let me stalk a bit!
me-boss: But you have not seen or talked to her for 10 years.
me-me:Still more interesting than the article.
me-boss: You shall not get payed then.
me-me: Ok, give me 10 more minutes!
...........after 10 minutes..........
me-boss: I guess you started your research?
me-me:....
me-boss: Oh my God! How did you end up on tumblr for Christ sake ?! Is that how you plan to make a living as an independent woman?
me-me: Ok, ok, I am starting...
............after 5 seconds..............
me-me: I am hungry. Me need pasta.
me-boss: No!
me-me: Me need fuel!

You get the point. And on top of that I feel guilty because I disappoint myself. I would not mind procrastination that much, if I was doing something that helped me become a better or happier person while procrastinating. If I read a book, for example. Or if I went for a walk. Or did some yoga, to correct my terrible slouchy posture. But no. All my procrastination goes to the internet. I guess that if I did read a book or did yoga, it would be called a proper brake and not procrastination anyway.

The terrible thing about procrastination is that everyone seems to be doing it. And by "everyone" I mean all freelancers. There is a rumor that this is why we work until the first morning hours (because we started actual work after hitting the panic button at around 9 p.m.). This means that you can find tons of people online to relate to. Which leads to procrastinating by reading articles about procrastination. Sad, isn't it?

Biking

In an attempt to brake this vicious cycle of late night work and all-day-long procrastination, mixed with a few hours of torture-work, I decided to set the alarm clock early today and go for a bike ride. Until yesterday, we had not bothered to find my partner's bike keys after the moving, so he used mine. But yesterday we did the brave move of looking through boxes and baskets and now my bike is mine again.

So today I woke up, had a shower, ate a clementine and a banana, wore green pants and my green coat and a super old blouse with the little price on it and looking like a 5 year-old tree, I rode my bike.

I went to Delfte Hout, a great area with lakes and a camping site just outside Delft. That is how it looks like:

I love this place. Since it was a weekday and I went during working hours, it was really quiet with just a few more bikers and a bunch of vibrant old ladies who walked briskly and chatted. I felt amazing. I was listening to Belle and Sebastian and was trying my balance, stirring the bike with one hand each time. Taking into consideration that I have not biked since I was 8 or 9 and I re-learned this year, I am doing pretty good.

It seems that Spring is slooooowly approaching here as well, since there were already tiny purple and white flowers blooming in several spots. The grass was thick and green and the lake was clear. I could not stop thinking that if I were at home I would be scrolling down status updates of people I do not even like or I would be reading stupid lifestyle articles or about yet one more nail on the coffin of Greek democracy. I felt so angry with myself that it took me that long to brake this circle. But I also felt great that I did, in the end.

Delftse Hout is the place where we are planning to do our wedding reception as well. We have yet to confirm the date and see if the two restaurants there can accommodate our needs. It takes some planning, but it is totally worth it. I am a Summer child and so is my partner and I cannot think of a better way to celebrate our love in nature, under the sun. Of course, the unpredictable Dutch weather is a risk that we will have to take, but what can you do? I am really hoping for good weather, so that we will be able to also swim (even though I am not sure that swimming after alcohol consumption is a good idea. In fact, now that I am writing it, it is a tremendously stupid idea. Sunbathing is still ok though.)


Delfte Hout also has great wooden cabins in its camping facilities and I was thinking that it would be great fun to stay there the night after the wedding. My brother already thinks we are two hippie, vegan freaks, so there is not much at stake in regards to our reputation.

In this episode: We are getting married

There are some times in your life that no matter what you do, feelings take over and paralyze you. There are those times that you might have dreamed of or thought of or fantasized about, but that you never thought would come true. At least not now. Not that fast. Not in such a way.

Long story short, me and my love are getting married in June. I knew we love each other. I knew that we wanted to have a family together. I hoped that this would happen at some point in the future. But then, those new neighbors came, coincidentally doing almost the same jobs as we do and simultaneously being two awesome adults and parents to a baby girl with the most amazing hairdo ever. And the thought crossed our minds. If we love each other and want to be a family, why wait?

So here we are now, planning a civil ceremony and a day in the park with the people we love.

The first two nights I could not sleep. I was so excited about it and so much in awe. I am once again infinitely thankful to skype, for allowing me to spend hours talking with my best friend in Greece until it all sunk in and I was able to get some rest.

Even though we have practically lived together for more than 2.5 years and living in the same house for 2 months now, I know it is going to be a change in our lives. "Forever" can be magical and terrifying at the same time and I firmly believe that ignoring the "terrifying" part instead of addressing it, is what has led many European countries to a 50% divorce rate. A good friend of mine gave us a piece of sound advice a few months ago, when we told him we were planning to live together. He said:

"Marriage is like a black box that has different functions. It makes babies, for example. Some people, when the black box fails to do what they want, just throw it away and get another one. I will try and open the box and see what's wrong inside it. Be the people who open the box."

I loved it. Sounds a bit guru-ish maybe, but it resonates so well with the kind of relationship we have managed to achieve so far. We had many many many (can I stress that enough?) hard times, communication break-downs, misunderstandings and the like the first two years after we met. And the first year that I also moved in the Netherlands had its rough moments too, but mainly because I was so terrified and stressed about living in another country, with a totally different culture, away from my friends.

The point is that he never let me bury my head in the sand like an ostrich and I never let him bury his either. When there was an issue, we addressed it. Yes, it was not always pleasant. And some times it also took a glass of wine or two (or three) for me to find the courage to tell him my worries. And he had to take some alone time and go for a walk or spend time at his place. Still, each and every one of those issues, we have resolved. I am absolutely sure that new ones will come up. After all, with two families becoming one, we would be fools not to expect some turbulence. People need to get to know each other and get used to each other as well.

I saw online a few lists of things you should do before you get married. I am disgusted by some of the proposals. They are basically along the lines of "be stupid and selfish". I found everything, from "date a bad boy" to "buy a very expensive bag, because when you are married he won't let you". Date a bad boy on purpose, just for the experience? What's the point? The bag thing and the husband not letting you, I can't even... The little feminist in me died from an aneurism the minute I read the sentence. And there was the other one "celebrate your 25th birthday before you get married". Well, I get that one, in the sense that you should not go into a marriage without giving it some serious thought, but how the hell do you choose this specific age?

There were more rational lists though. Like "sort your finances", "discuss if you want to have kids" "if you belong to different religions, what religion are the kids going to follow" "discuss your long term housing plans". Rational stuff. Still, common sense stuff. But there are people getting married when they are 19, so I guess this is useful advice.

When we were discussing with my partner in February whether we should get married fast (like, this June) or wait, I made a list of all the reasons I was sure about why I wanted to be with him for life, weather it would be sooner or later. Here are some of the key points:

-Because I love him and I want to be next to him in his good days and bad days and boring days.
-Because I would like my kids to look like him and have his personality (well, and some of my traits as well, thank you!)
-Because we have been through a lot together and I know I can count on him as my best friend as well as my lover.
-Because after 5 years that I know him, he still fascinates me.
-Because I want to do exciting stuff, like travels, with him. And boring stuff, like laundry as well.
-Because when my grandmother got a stroke last year and I was devastated, he asked me if I would like us to pray for her, even though he is an atheist. That one I will never ever forget, no matter what.
-Because he lets me wear his sweaters.
-Because I would give him my last french fry and I love french fries a whole lot. So that must be love.
-Because when I wake up and he is next to me I feel that nothing can go wrong.
-And when I go to bed and he comes to sleep next to me I fall asleep within seconds, knowing that I am secure, protected and loved.
-Because we are a team and we have faced problems as a team before.
-Because if he becomes as a good husband as his father is, then I will be a very lucky woman.

I could go on and on and it would become way cheesier (yes, it can!), but I do need to add one last thing before I stop: this guy bought me this frog these days that I 've got fever, to keep me company. And he makes a sound too!

I feel beyond lucky and beyond grateful for my love and for the wonderful people who are going to be my witnesses. And of course, for our families that taught us how to love and be loved.

P.S.: With the wedding and the fever, my work has suffered. This is going to be a working-like-crazy weekend.
P.S.2: Go watch this TED talk. No science, no boring stuff. I promise. Its all about asking for help, giving, taking and community support.